Did you ever have your heart broken so much that it brought you back to life? Sober. Over. Anything that would take you…over.
So now I walk these streets daily. Through the park and back out onto the streets passing a plethora of restaurants and coming across the occasional bronze statue of a business man or an artist painting the oncoming traffic. These days you rarely see a smile on someone’s face, or even a frown. Most people have acquiesced to the muzzling of our God given facial expressions. So all I can do is imagine that the woman is smiling at me as I catch her eye. I smile. She can certainly see that I am, with my flirting glance. I pretend. I dream. I walk on by in a relaxed Burt Bacharach kind of way.
It’s Christmas Eve. 11:45 pm. The rain is pounding in Stamford, Connecticut. I love it. It reminds me of Kathleen. We both hoped for these kinds of nights. It is such a special night Christmas Eve. Apart from waiting for the baby Jesus, it is the eve of the night I flew to Chicago in 2010 to meet KT. But this night, 10 years later, is special too.
December 24, 2020.
I spent the evening with Evie and Juan. What a blessing. Then by chance, King Quiet came on the computer..somehow. ???. Evie’s photo from Shanghai on the cover of “Ping”…the second solo record? It was the Prairie Mix by Robert Baird. Dear Sir Robert who I spoke with earlier in the day from western Michigan. Another blessing. Evie. Robert. These are special human beings. These people are my heart. Then a text from Daniel. Kathleen’s Daniel. Kai responded too. These people, here and there, always in my heart and soul. Kai responded too. Daisy. And my brothers. My beautiful family, who I couldn’t be with tonight. Lock solid in my heart and soul. Wendy Girl, with the call, inviting me to Laurie Girl in case I had no one to be with…..But Evie…my daughter and my FAMILY…to be with her?
The new single Man and Woman from the forthcoming Marc Teamaker album called Leaf Day Boys will be released on Christmas Day. You will be able to purchase it at http://www.marcteamaker.bandcamp.com.
“Fantastic new song for the times of fear and censorship of speech and thought. And Faith, in religion, in spiritual beliefs is a universal that stands the test of time. Freedom begins in your mind.” – Robert Baird
April 27th will see the new release by Teamaker/Clarke, “Winter Returns.” Part song and part spoken word. Iain Clarke wrote the music and Marc Teamaker wrote the lyrics, partly taken from Dream #3 in the My Dream series here. The music builds as the song commences in a dream like pastoral fashion juxtaposed with Iain’s brilliant read of Marc’s daydream. Winter returns, rehearsed or unrehearsed.
Two of my songs, Whatever Happens, from the 2003 eponymous release, and SkinnyWrist from our latest double album, all the little mornings, are featured on a new compilation put out by the UK based E-Zine/Record label, Aldora Britain Records. The Collection is called Fourteen Songs For a Friday Night and is available at bandcamp.
The top right corner of the page was folded as a place marker. Page 107, the seventh page of the seventh chapter. This is where she must have left off. To know her long slender fingers had delicately turned these pages gives comfort and sends my thoughts through a certain sensation. If I was sitting next to her, as I often do in my daydreams, I would trace them with mine after she put her hands to her side palms down on the green leather couch. It sends a shot of warmth up my spine.
She suggested I read the author, Marguerite Duras. And so I will. And so I am. Another way to keep me connected with her, not that there needs to be a reason. As I’ve said before, she is hardwired to my soul.
Daydream (January 28, 2020)
I have a reoccurring daydream. I will look out a window, as I did today giving a piano lesson, and for a moment I have this feeling or memory of being from the American Civil War period. I must admit that it’s a very good feeling. It happens a couple of times a year.
Fragments of a Dream (January 30, 2020)
I’m in a closed in horse and buggy with a non descriptive male friend and his female counterpart. I with mine. My friend and I are singing “Donkey Rides A Penny A Glass” by the Small Faces. At the top our lungs, ‘I like wasting away in a caravan!” The dream shifts and this friend and I are now in a house drawing the curtains to let the sun in.